Men and masculinity

      There is nothing more ironic than a man's sensitivity toward his masculinity. We live in a world where the only time men seem to avoid criticism of their tears is when their football teams are losing (the tragedy) or their mothers are dying. If it's anything else, you best suck those tears back in, boy! Girls cry, not men! You get my drift? We live in a world where men are told that any show of vulnerability or emotion is to be "like a girl", as though the female gender is the ultimate deterrent. As a result, we see men who seldom express their feelings, seldom address their issues, seldom talk, and seldom cry. We see figures that show men have the highest suicide rates, yet, inversely, more women seek counselling.

     Before I go on, I'd like to point out that this is less of a personal issue and more of a general one. I have come to terms with myself in regards to this, I just want others to be able to recognise what's wrong about it. There won't be much descriptive here, more informative/advisory. However, please enjoy. :)

     We only need take a century-long step back to see how this all started: men used to be very touchy- it was no big deal because friends touch; touch is a key part of forming emotional bonds and connections. Only when homosexuality gained more notoriety after World War 2 (it was more or less ignored and hardly spoken of before) because of the Nazi concentration camps, gay prisoners wearing pink triangles, etc. did people start caring as much. Gay people were portrayed as effeminate, to be effeminate is to be like a woman, to be like a woman is bad because women were seen as the lesser folk (this is also why pink was made the colour for women and blue for men- it WAS vice versa). It sucks! So, naturally, femininity was sniffed out of every aspect of the male man, leaving those who're sensitive or effeminate by nature to be ostracised, targeted, and attacked. There's the history of it anyway- we allowed our society to be shaped by the actions of a regime we were looking to snuff out. We got rid of the Nazis, yet we utilised their wrongdoings to hone in on aspects of life that our Church loving society deemed unsavoury and sinful. Take sin from sin to make the world go 'round!

     To me, the history behind this is deterrent enough to cut off from "traditional" masculinity and return to a time when men would talk, bond, connect! Walk down the streets as you laugh, arm in arm; run to embrace that friend you haven't seen in years- screw a hand shake! What I'm getting at is that you don't have to hide behind a straight face if you're feeling like crap, nor do you have to stay silent when something is on your mind. Talk. It really does the world of good. Not only does it improve your state, but those around you will see said improvements and soon follow suit. Lead the revolution against the repression of expression because it is quite literally killing us- if not suicide, then stress!

     I'd like to, but I can't say there's much else to advise on this because it's really a journey of your own- it'll take a lot of digging and much more adjusting; you'll probably experience various feelings and sensations you've successfully avoided for so long that they just don't feel right! However, I've often found that feeling worse is an indicator of something good to come. It's like working hard throughout a project: the work to get to the end is laborious and mostly tedious, but your success comes with completion and the sense of achievement that follows.

Good luck, men. May you be happy!